$100 for Elite Fight Night

Tickets for the Elite Fight Night cost a little less than half of that. The fighters make a little more than double that. But I got in for free and made that much money just to have an ambulance on hand outside, a stretcher easily available inside, and a box of Large disposable gloves sitting at our table for the refs. It was awesome! We sat ringside- literally. On my right hand was one of the three scoring judges. I could reach out a foot and a half and touch the cage, and sometimes the fighters (had I wanted to).

22 fighters. 11 fights. 1 Knock-Out, 1 Judges Decision, and 9 TKOs or Tap-Out Submissions. The 10th fight was the best, featuring an undefeated fighter (10-0) vs. a taller opponent from the same weight division (5-1). The undefeated guy was from New York and had a N.Y. photographer and video camera crew following him around for an upcoming story on his flawless rise in the mixed martial arts (MMA) world. He lost. In the 2nd round, he took his opponent down to the mat and started to drop elbows towards the face. The fighter on the bottom put both knees on either side of the top fighter's head, locked his ankles beneath the chin, and began squeezing his leg muscles. The undefeated fighter picked his opponent up 6 feet into the air and then slammed him down hard. But the lock just got tighter... until the man on top finally passed out. When he woke up, the crowd around him was chanting "10 and 1!". His local news following had a sad story to write about their hometown hero.

I realized that night that Ultimate Fighting was very different from Renaissance jousting (not to be confused with American Gladiator joust). Each fighter has a guy in his corner that smears his cheeks and face with vasoline. This helps blows to glance off, instead of busting open the skin and head. It also adds to that shimmery split-second after a fighter is hit hard when the air is filled with light-catching particles of sweat, drool, blood, and the like (including our previously mentioned product). But with Medieval games of Horse-Chicken, we learned recently that they actually cross-thread their shields with wire so that the jousting lances will stick their blows. If they do not, instead of simply breaking the lances slide off the metal dangerously in an unpredictable direction. But even that trick of iron forgery cannot completely erase danger. As we watched, on knight's lance splintered, then got caught in the rope separating the two horse lanes. He flew off crazily and hit the ground in a hundred pounds of steel armor, hard. I don't know if he was knocked out, or if he experienced merely a brief syncopal episode, but as I prepared to go over and render medical assistance his page helped him back to his feet. Good times reliving The Sword and the Stone.I had to pay to go to that event though. The world still isn't perfect I guess... yet.