The Day I Invented The Ham-Burger

I'm not the inventor in my family- That would be my twin brother Rusty. Yes, his patent-pending Star-B-Q could cook you up some game-day food on a train or under a tree... It can even char-fry your balcony! Now I cannot say more about this true innovation, as it is a well-kept family secret.

But the other day, I stumbled upon a thought of my own. Guys like Bacon.Yes, a man's love of bacon is not a well kept secret. In fact, it's commonly known by just about everyone (save perhaps my cousin Rachel, who exists on a higher plane of culinary existence). And here's the thing- I don't get it. If bacon is overcooked, it turns out crispy, crunchy and gross. If it's undercooked, it ends up floppy, soggy, chewy and gross. Either way, it's always greasy... and gross. I'm a guy who doesn't like to eat plain bacon, not even for breakfast.

Here's the catch: Bacon is delicious on a burger! Carl's Jr has the Six Dollar Western Bacon Cheeseburger. Wendy's has the Spicy Baconator. I don't even know if it's the bacon itself or the sauce that's usually applied liberally on top of such a burger, but they're hard to resist. And this is a product based on a meat-topping I don't even like all that much, despite my manly guyhood!

Which got me thinking about burgers in general. There's a lot of variety in the burger world.

Some burgers are Big.Some are expensive (this one costs $110 in Madrid):Some are made out of ugly women-In fact, there are a LOT of different topping choices for a hamburger...You've probably even seen those hamburgers that are topped with an egg!
But there's one delicious breakfasty topping that I've NEVER seen on a hamburger (I'm not talking thinly-sliced deli lunch sandwiches here). HAM!
Which doesn't make any sense really (even aside from the name itself). Let me ask You a question: Which would you prefer to eat when you wake up in the morning -- Stomach-upsetting bacon, or a scrumptious, filling Ham steak?

I haven't actually put together a working model yet, but I will soon. Scientific research requires funding first. But the idea has merit I think. I should probably look into the details of patenting my invention before one of the larger corporations catches wind of the genius and steals it from me. It I play my cards right, I could sell millions through McDonalds! And if I took just a dime of profit from each one I would be R.I.C.H. in no time at all!