$100 for Elite Fight Night

Tickets for the Elite Fight Night cost a little less than half of that. The fighters make a little more than double that. But I got in for free and made that much money just to have an ambulance on hand outside, a stretcher easily available inside, and a box of Large disposable gloves sitting at our table for the refs. It was awesome! We sat ringside- literally. On my right hand was one of the three scoring judges. I could reach out a foot and a half and touch the cage, and sometimes the fighters (had I wanted to).

22 fighters. 11 fights. 1 Knock-Out, 1 Judges Decision, and 9 TKOs or Tap-Out Submissions. The 10th fight was the best, featuring an undefeated fighter (10-0) vs. a taller opponent from the same weight division (5-1). The undefeated guy was from New York and had a N.Y. photographer and video camera crew following him around for an upcoming story on his flawless rise in the mixed martial arts (MMA) world. He lost. In the 2nd round, he took his opponent down to the mat and started to drop elbows towards the face. The fighter on the bottom put both knees on either side of the top fighter's head, locked his ankles beneath the chin, and began squeezing his leg muscles. The undefeated fighter picked his opponent up 6 feet into the air and then slammed him down hard. But the lock just got tighter... until the man on top finally passed out. When he woke up, the crowd around him was chanting "10 and 1!". His local news following had a sad story to write about their hometown hero.

I realized that night that Ultimate Fighting was very different from Renaissance jousting (not to be confused with American Gladiator joust). Each fighter has a guy in his corner that smears his cheeks and face with vasoline. This helps blows to glance off, instead of busting open the skin and head. It also adds to that shimmery split-second after a fighter is hit hard when the air is filled with light-catching particles of sweat, drool, blood, and the like (including our previously mentioned product). But with Medieval games of Horse-Chicken, we learned recently that they actually cross-thread their shields with wire so that the jousting lances will stick their blows. If they do not, instead of simply breaking the lances slide off the metal dangerously in an unpredictable direction. But even that trick of iron forgery cannot completely erase danger. As we watched, on knight's lance splintered, then got caught in the rope separating the two horse lanes. He flew off crazily and hit the ground in a hundred pounds of steel armor, hard. I don't know if he was knocked out, or if he experienced merely a brief syncopal episode, but as I prepared to go over and render medical assistance his page helped him back to his feet. Good times reliving The Sword and the Stone.I had to pay to go to that event though. The world still isn't perfect I guess... yet.

Ice Ice Baby

NEWS NEWS NEWS
NEWS-I'm Too Cold.

~NEWS- And married American mommies are too hot (more than 1 out of 3 cheat)...

TV- Archuleta is favored to LOSE to Cook in the American Idol Finale (he is given a 23% chance to win). Many blame Dad. Is Simon Cowell holding a grudge against Archie Sr.?

*TV- And Crush (Gina Carano) fights in the first televised female MMA bout May 31st on CBS (Carly's 1st birthday!). Her fact sheet: 26 years old, 140 lbs, 5'8", 5-0 professional fight record career, Christian, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, favorite movie is Braveheart, one person she wants to fight is Hitler. Time for me to join the FLDS Church!

NEWS- Speaking of which, some of the "underage mothers" taken from the Texas ranch have proven to be adults. One was 18, another was 22! She says the authorities refused for weeks to consider her driver's license and birth certificate as proof of her age. Yeah, the Texas officials are on shaky ground.

~NEWS- Did you know that liberals bug me? President Bush recently gave a world address stating that sitting down with modern Iranian terrorists is akin to those in the past who thought they could talk Hitler out of his mad war. Barack Hussein Obama angrily responded by saying "Hey, it sounds like he's talking about me!" Bush had not used any names as examples and did not even mention the Democratic party. Oops Obama, you just outed yourself as terrorist-friendly.

MOVIES- Narnia:Caspian is reportedly quite violent for a rated-PG movie. Supposedly it is much darker than the first movie.

*BOOKS- Twilight series authoress Stephenie Meyer just released a new book about Aliens, "The Host". Her 4th vampire book is due out August 2nd, 2008. P.S. Did you know they are currently making a Twilight movie?

A Bad Week for BYU Sports

Both major sports at Brigham Young University, football and men's basketball, had banner years this past season. BYU football went 11-2, going 8-0 in Mountain West Conference play for the second year in a row and capping the season with a bowl game win over UCLA. Bronco Mendenhall's team finished #14. BYU men's basketball went 27-8 (including an early win over #6 Louisville on the road), won the MWC regular season for the second season in a row going 13-3, finished 2nd in the conference tournament to UNLV in Las Vegas, made the field of 64 for the second year in a row, and lost a close game in the first round of the March Madness National Championship Tournament to Texas A&M. Dave Rose's squad was in and out of the Top 25 all year long and finished just outside of the final rankings.

Both squads were favored to win conference championships again this coming season to make it back-to-back-to-back, but both also suffered major losses to their team this week that could make winning a bit more difficult.

The football team lost 2nd-string running back and star blocker Manase Tonga due to academic ineligibility. He has been removed from the University and must re-apply if he wishes to come back in January. No word on what will happen to his scholarship. Manase was suspended for the season opener last year after running a stop sign and giving the police officer a false name, as well as unpaid parking tickets. His older brother DL Matangi Tonga was booted from BYU for stealing laptops the year before. He was expected to rejoin the school and team for the coming season, but inexplicably transferred to a Junior College instead. Tonga ran for 305 yards last year. 1st and 3rd string backers Harvey Unga and Fui Vakapuna return, with promising blue-shirt freshman J.J. DiLuigi looking for field time as well.
http://www.byucougars.com/Filing.jsp?ID=10790 The men's basketball team lost star center Trent Plaisted to an early draft declaration after he offically hired an agent. Lee Cummard is also testing the early departure NBA draft waters but is currently expected to come back from next season. Though Plaisted is big, he sometimes couldn't tear his way through a wet paper towel under the rim, and many expect he will end up playing in Russia like ex-BYU star Rafael Araujo. Plaisted's schollie may not be used until next season, instead of potentially wasting it on a late unsigned kid. Chris Miles and Chris Collinsworth will fill in the gap.
http://www.ksl.com/?nid=498&sid=3311878


These things do happen in sports. Cheer up! Watch a funny YouTube video (or two):

The Robot Song

Snow is Dangerous and Evil and is Trying to Kill You

"Americans": Archuleta and Crush

I worked EMS for a recent American Idol David Archuleta show (getting paid to get entertained!). Luckily, I only had to treat one little girl who twisted an ankle jumping up and down while screaming. David sang only 3 songs (including "Stand By Me"), but boy were they good! The kid may appear to be just 5'2" or so, but his voice is amazingly large and carried across the stadium easily.

In other Archuleta news, David's dad has been banned from the American Idol set. Who knows what affect if any it will have on the show itself? Archuleta joins the other David (Cook) and soon-to-be-voted-out Sayesha in the Final 3; his making the Final 2 looks like a near lock. And his dad, by all accounts, is nowhere near as bad as Jessica Simpson's father.

As far as the best "American" tv show, that goes to "American Gladiators" hosted by Hulk Hogan and Laila Ali! Season 2 -featuring 40 new competitors- begins tonight (6:00-8:00pm PST on NBC). Season 1 winners "Rocket" and "Jet" return, along with a new face, the violet-haired "Phoenix". Yes, 3 gladiators from last season were fired (and I bet you could guess which ones!). There are also 2 new events this time around ("Vertigo" and "Rocketball"). Watch Titans' thighs destroy another firefighter during this evening's new episode (EDIT: Nevermind- This firefighter is a woman). There are also rumors of 5 other new events and at least another new gladiator, the 7-foot tall Beast...

P.S. Did you know that before American Gladiators, Crush was a female Mixed Martial Artist fighter? Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgRtBM-hWm4

I Got Paid to see a Lakers-Jazz NBA Playoff Game

Just a brief amount of Utah Jazz history. First, there's no jazz music scene in the state of Utah. Second, they've changed their jersey colors a lot. It started out white, bright purple, yellow, and green. Then it became light purple, teal, white, and black (in the 80s, of course). Now it's navy blue, baby blue, and white (kind of BYU meets UCLA). I guess you sell more stuff if you change the look often.

The game itself was great. There are more Lakers fans in Utah than any other out-of-state NBA team (for the NFL, it's the 49ers). It's all the California transplants. This means that Laker-Jazz games always provide a lot of rivalry energy. Each side had signs for Game #4. Utah fans showed "The Only Good Laker Is A Salt Laker". A Los Angelan group threw up "All Roads End In L.A." (where the Jazz will likely eventually lose the 7-game series). And as this was the first Jazz home game on a Sunday in 4 years (Wow!), there was a sign dedicated dually to Carlos Boozer and alcohol stating "We Love Booz! Even on Sunday." (with a similar signed for "Brew", or Ronnie Brewer). It WAS funny seeing the kegs getting rolled past me on their way to different food stands. Sadly, there were all too many "Bryant" jerseys, which makes for a lot of pitifully lame people. The Jazz fans retaliated with "MVP" chants every time hometown favorite Deron Williams made a basket. And both teams' fans were guilty of women sporting their teams' jersey in white-and-pink, a terrible new crime against Sport that is ever-growing in popularity. Besides which, the Lakers aren't the only team with a rapist as a hero; Utah Jazz legend Karl Malone impregnated a 13-year old girl back when he was a sophomore in college at Louisiana Tech (can you say "Statutory"?). http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=hill/080507
And yes, there were a bunch of fistfights after the game (Of course! It went into overtime and people had a bunch of pent-up emotion to let out). A couple of split lips, but no major injuries requiring transport or hospitalization.

You know, I don't go to near enough professional sporting events. The state of Utah is starting to come together. They've got the NBA Jazz, the semi-pro basketball Flash, the MLS Real Salt Lake, the arena football Blaze, the semi-pro hockey Grizzlies, and the semi-pro baseball Bees. Utah's not a huge pro-sports state, but it is growing.

Motorcycle = Deathtrap

Please, don't ever buy a motorcycle! Don't ride a motorcycle. Don't accept a ride from a friend who rides one. If you own one, sell it. It doesn't matter if you are a safe driver; The cars around you are not, and they will be the one that both causes the crash and walks away from it safely. And if you are going to ride a motorcycle, please, please, at least wear a helmet. Seriously. If you don't, you will die. I already went on that 911 call this week- I don't want it to happen again to someone I know. Riding a motorcycle without a helmet is a great way to commit suicide. Don't be stupid.

"A motorcyclist is approximately 16 times more likely to die in a crash than an automobile occupant. Head injury is a leading cause of death in motorcycle crashes." http://www.webbikeworld.com/Motorcycle-Safety/crash.htm

I Got Paid to Go See Iron Man

I was paid to watch Iron Man on Tuesday. But not because of my blog about the movie's success. No, I was working on an ambulance that day. We were posted in an area right by a movie theatre that lets us in for free, in case somebody ever has an episode watching a film while we are there. We sat in the back row with our pagers and a radio on low (this is standard practice at this location, don't worry). And it was an incredibly slow night, so we made it all the way from trailers to FIN. Getting paid to watch a movie. Nice! We deserved it after moving a 420 lb. man earlier in the shift.I love movie theatre posters! There was one for a new X-Files movie (it's been awhile). There was one for "The Happening", M. Night Shyamalan's sequel to Signs. And there was one for Ice Age 3, among others.

The trailers were great too! Indiana Jones 4. The Dark Knight (Harvey Dent is introduced... 2 Face?). Incredible Hulk (he fights Abomination). Mike Myers' new comedy The Love Guru (some of the jokes in the preview made me laugh out loud).

Iron Man itself... Well, it seems like I talked about it a lot already. It was as good as advertised, perhaps the 2nd best comic book movie I've seen, and I've seen them all. Gwyneth Paltrow plays a redhead in the film; She almost looks like a girl I knew in high school, April O'. "The Dude" is funny as an super-villain. And you gotta wait until the end of the credits, just like with the X-Men movies.

Announced this week is a new Super Friends-esque cartoon show for TV, "Marvel Super Hero Squad", featuring Captain America, the Fantastic Four, Iron Man, the Incredible Hulk, and Thor, fighting bad guys like Doctor Doom, Magneto, Loki, and the Abomination. The 26 half-an-hour episodes should begin airing in 2009.
http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b135368_marvel_activates_super_hero_squad.html


Other Movie News:

- "The Hobbit" will be not just 1 movie, but 2! The same actors who played Gandolph the Grey and Gollum in The Lord of the Rings have signed back on. But the movie won't be done by Peter Jackson (which is too bad, but maybe they won't each be 4 hours long). Look for the first in 2010.
http://scifi.about.com/b/2008/05/03/hobbit-update-del-toro-ian-mckellen-are-in.htm
- "Terminator 4" will star Batman Begins actor Christian Bale as John Connor. This is the first movie of the series that will be set in the future, during the war against the robots, and not in the present. It's also the first film in a new Trilogy ("Salvation"). Look for it summer of '09.
http://www.eonline.com/news/article/index.jsp?uuid=9864803c-63b6-42a6-b26f-4c2b3d101a6b
Yeah, this has turned out to be quite the guy blog. Movies, sports, TV, food, and video games. Who could ask for anything more?

Comments

I don't get enough Comments ("Thoughts"). At least my blog doesn't. Probably because it's mostly private. Only a select few are allowed to link to it, or you have to know the exact address. So it's not a made-for-comments blog, per say. But those who CAN read it should comment more. That means you. Comment often. Starting now.

The Day I Invented The Ham-Burger

I'm not the inventor in my family- That would be my twin brother Rusty. Yes, his patent-pending Star-B-Q could cook you up some game-day food on a train or under a tree... It can even char-fry your balcony! Now I cannot say more about this true innovation, as it is a well-kept family secret.

But the other day, I stumbled upon a thought of my own. Guys like Bacon.Yes, a man's love of bacon is not a well kept secret. In fact, it's commonly known by just about everyone (save perhaps my cousin Rachel, who exists on a higher plane of culinary existence). And here's the thing- I don't get it. If bacon is overcooked, it turns out crispy, crunchy and gross. If it's undercooked, it ends up floppy, soggy, chewy and gross. Either way, it's always greasy... and gross. I'm a guy who doesn't like to eat plain bacon, not even for breakfast.

Here's the catch: Bacon is delicious on a burger! Carl's Jr has the Six Dollar Western Bacon Cheeseburger. Wendy's has the Spicy Baconator. I don't even know if it's the bacon itself or the sauce that's usually applied liberally on top of such a burger, but they're hard to resist. And this is a product based on a meat-topping I don't even like all that much, despite my manly guyhood!

Which got me thinking about burgers in general. There's a lot of variety in the burger world.

Some burgers are Big.Some are expensive (this one costs $110 in Madrid):Some are made out of ugly women-In fact, there are a LOT of different topping choices for a hamburger...You've probably even seen those hamburgers that are topped with an egg!
But there's one delicious breakfasty topping that I've NEVER seen on a hamburger (I'm not talking thinly-sliced deli lunch sandwiches here). HAM!
Which doesn't make any sense really (even aside from the name itself). Let me ask You a question: Which would you prefer to eat when you wake up in the morning -- Stomach-upsetting bacon, or a scrumptious, filling Ham steak?

I haven't actually put together a working model yet, but I will soon. Scientific research requires funding first. But the idea has merit I think. I should probably look into the details of patenting my invention before one of the larger corporations catches wind of the genius and steals it from me. It I play my cards right, I could sell millions through McDonalds! And if I took just a dime of profit from each one I would be R.I.C.H. in no time at all!

Pro Basketball Post-Season, Round 2

Surprises of the 1st Round: The Celtics looked much worse than predicted, and New Orleans (led by Chris Paul) looked much better.
So the NBA is kind of weird. You see, the 2nd Round of Playoffs began before the 1st Round ended. The Detroit Pistons (Eastern 2 Seed) won at home over the Orlando Magic (Eastern 3 Seed) in Game 1 and the New Orleans Hornets (Western 2 Seed) won at home over the San Antonio Spurs (Western 3 Seed) in Game 1 Saturday before Game 7 between the Boston Celtics and the Atlanta Hawks had even been played (the Celtics won at home on Sunday). Amazingly, Celtics-Hawks was the only series to go the full seven, and it pitted the team with the best record in the NBA with the playoff team with the worst record (not even .500); Neither team won a road game. And the Los Angeles Lakers (Western 1 Seed) beat the Utah Jazz (Western 4 Seed) in L.A. in Game 1 that same night. The Lakers were the only team to win a 4-game sweep (over the Denver Thuggets). In every series the higher-Seeded team won. So the two upsets I picked, the Phoenix Suns over the San Antonio Spurs and the Dallas Mavericks over the New Orleans Hornets were both wrong. Still coming up, Game 1 between Boston (Eastern 1 Seed) and Lebron James' Cleveland Cavaliers (Eastern 4 Seed) on Tuesday.

The only team to win Game #1 and lose the series was the Philadelphia 76ers (to the Pistons). The other 7 game one winners all handled their bidness, as I foreshadowed on April 21st.

http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/playoffs

Question: What if every series of every round in the West went 7 games, and each series of each round only went 4 in the East? Would the Eastern Finals Champ have 20 days to rest up before playing the Western Finals Champ?

Extra Point: Utah Jazz PG (Darrin? Deron?) Williams drops the f-bomb on a reporter he dislikes.
http://1280thezone.com/images/uploads/audio/DWill5-1-08.mp3http://www.thescoreboards.com/forums/utah-jazz/73605-deron-williams-i-hate-mother-f.html

The Invincible Iron Man

Everyone loves comic books! Personally, I have a big cardboard box full of them (I think of them as "a valuable investment", undoubtedly to be cashed in someday at some mythical store for a vast amount of money). I don't have any Iron Man comics though. He was always kind of lame. A rich guy who buys himself a metal suit. Blah. Like Batman (no real super powers), but without the cool nasty attitude and even more insulated from the outside world. And Tony Stark is a much snobbier rich guy than Bruce Wayne to boot.
To top off the lameness, the new Iron Man movie stars Robert Downey Jr. as the lead actor. Blech! He's better known by some for his many drunken benders and stints in rehab (for cocaine and heroin addictions, which he claimed started at the age of 8) than his acting skills (though he has been nominated for an Academy Award and an Emmy and is a Golden Globe winner). "It's like I have a loaded gun in my mouth and my finger's on the trigger, and I like the taste of the gunmetal" he once told a judge. Downey spent almost a year and a half in prison before hiring O.J. Simpson's lawyers. Funny to imagine that his first career role was voicing one of the Pound Puppies (long before his Saturday Night Live days)! And in an upcoming film he wears liberal face paint and portrays a black man. At least there's Jeff Bridges (Seabiscuit, The Big Lebowski, Tron, The Last Unicorn) to play the bad guy and Gwyneth Paltrow (Shakespeare in Love, Great Expectations, Emma, The Pallbearer, Se7en, Hook) as the love interest.
But Lo and Behold, Iron Man raked in an incredible $100 Million plus this weekend ($200MM+ worldwide- which is good, because the film reportedly cost $186 million to make). That's 65% of the box office, with the second-best film making a meager $15 Mil; Iron Man is only the second movie this year to break $100MM at the box office period (along with Horton Hears a Who). To compare, Batman Begins (perhaps the best comic book movie ever and the best film that year) only made $48MM it's opening weekend. Superman Returns made just $52MM. X-Men, X-Men 2, Spider-Man 2: All made less than $91MM. In fact, Iron Man made more money than any introductory comic book movie besides Spider-Man ($114MM), and is fourth overall in the comic category (Spiderman 3 leads the way with $151MM). Categories aside, it's good for 10th best of any movie opening. And ol' Robert sure seems happy!
But even terrible movies can make lots of money. Apparently, that is NOT the case with this one. Iron Man has gained some of the best reviews of the year, with a B+ from critics and an A- from Movie Go-ers. No other film from the past month has gained more than a B from either hard-to-please group. The Chicago Sun-Times says it's "one of the smartest superhero films to come down the pike in some time." E! Online says that "Downey has a great, manic energy about him, and it shines through even in the more casual moments." Rolling Stone says that "It's been years since a movie superhero was this fierce and this funny". And the New York Post adds that it is "One of the hippest, best-written and best-directed superhero movies ever." Plus Kain says it's worth seeing more than once. So I gotta go see it now, at least once. I'll take my girl with me though (Kain!).
Iron Man is the first movie produced by Marvel, as their other blockbuster hits (Spider-Man, Fantastic Four, etc) were made before they had created their own studio. Next out from Marvel: "The Incredible Hulk", starring Edward Norton (The Illusionist, The Italian Job, Fight Club, American History X, Rounders), due out in June of 2008. And, yes, Downey will make a small appearance in the film as Iron Man. After that, Punisher 2, Wolverine, Thor (June 4, 2010), Captain America (May 6, 2011), The Avengers (July of 2011), and Ant-Man will hit the theatres (with the new Spectacular Spider-Man kids cartoon hitting the WB tv network). Iron Man 2 has already been announced and is set to open April 30, 2010.

I Flew Under the Lorax Nest

So I finished reading the book "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" by Ken Kesey this week. Now I need to watch the movie! Interesting Note: The author actually received electro-shock therapy before writing his book.

Upon reflection of the novel, I decided that had my wife never married she too may have wound up as a control freak imposing her iron will on others for their own good, whether they wanted help or not, ala Nurse Ratched.

And I could have ended up like McMurphy, sans marriage (I already have the hair)!

Instead I ended up like McMurphy, sans frontal lobe (just kidding):

On that note, I've been married 4 years now and never happier!! Happy Anniversary beautiful! Let's have another baby!!


Other Books I've read this week-
Thunderhead by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child
Pastwatch: The Redemption of Christopher Columbus by Orson Scott Card (and he is writing another Pastwatch book, yet to be released- The Flood)

Other Books I've read by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child:
Relic
Reliquary
Book of the Dead (with Wheel of Darkness -the next in the series- just released)
Mount Dragon?

Other Books I've read by Orson Scott Card (and LDS author who also helped create the game The Secret of Monkey Island, writing the insult lines for insult sword-fighting... he also wrote an autobiography of BYU basketball star Danny Ainge AND the new Iron Man book):
Ender's Game (Which is currently being made into a movie, to be directed by the same guy who did The NeverEnding Story!)
Speaker for the Dead (The first follow-up novel to Ender's Game... Card is currently writing a new book in the series called "Ender in Exile")
Stone Tables? (Card is also writing a 4th book in the "The Women of Genesis" series, to be titled "The Wives of Israel")

Thought O' The Day

Some People are like SlinkiesThey're only good for the smile they put on your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

Batman Begins Sequel and Other Cool Stuff Guys Like

MOVIE EDITION of The Blog!

Coming Soon to a Theater near YOU!!

DragonBall Z
Goku, in costume...

Indiana Jones 4
Google the Trailer online

James Bond 22
Blonde Bond is back

The Mummy 3
Featuring Jet Li

Hancock
The Black Superman with a Bad Attitude!
Will Smith fights Charlize Theron


The Dark Knight (set to open in Theaters July 18, 2008)

http://www.thegothamtimes.com/

Movie Posters (Official and Not)








And some Batman stills from the new movie!!!






BatBike!